Separated At Birth?

Everyone says I look just like my older brother...what do you think?

Field Journal: Week Five

Here I am, the proverbial stranger in a strange land.

I'm getting used to this new body that keeps getting bigger, literally every day. I'm gaining an ounce or more daily and have already outgrown my "newborn" clothes. This is a good thing, but it's hard to get coordinated when every day you weigh more.

I'm learning, though; I can hold my head up by myself and I can lift my head and shoulders up off the ground when I'm on my tummy. I can bring my hands to my mouth and suck on my fists or thumb (you might think slobbering all over your own body parts is gross, but it is surprisingly soothing, actually). It's good to get a little bit of control. Before, I had completely involuntary reactions to certain things which were a bit embarrassing -- like throwing out my arms and legs when I was moved suddenly, or trying to "walk" when my feet were touched, or grabbing anything that touched my palm. I'm glad I'm learning to do things I want to do!

I'm also learning to connect with the Soft Food Source and the Comfy Hairy One. They seem to like it when I move my facial muscles in a way called "smiling." They get all excited and coo and babble at me in high voices, and smile back. I find myself fascinated by their faces. I can't see very well, but somehow the contrast of dark and light on a human face is very interesting to me right now. The Soft Food Source in particular is interesting to look at, although not when I'm actually eating. That is serious business and I can't make eye contact then. I like to look at the Comfy Hairy One, too, but his chest is so comfy that I almost always fall asleep or go into a blissed-out zone when he's holding me.

So far I seem to be adjusting well. I have some episodes of fussiness because my body doesn't always want to digest very well, but mostly my state of my mind is calm and alert, when I'm not sleeping. I sleep a lot, but that's when I grow, so it's okay, I suppose.

I also enjoy interacting with the Little Hugger (my big brother). He loves to hold me and love on me. I like being around someone closer to my own size -- I can look at him close up and see more than just a giant head. He's pretty noisy, although I like it when he plays something called "music."

I'll report more next week...

Love and gummy smiles,

Charlie

I'm Four Weeks Old!

Hard to believe, but I'm nearly a month old. It's gone by in a blur, Mommy says -- mostly because she only gets to sleep in two-hour increments. Of course, I'm sleeping in two-hour increments, too, but that's all I'm used to, so it's okay.

I'm getting really big. As of this past Monday at the lactation consultant's, I weighed 7 pounds, 11 ounces. That's two whole pounds over my birth weight! And seven ounces over what I weighed on Friday at the doctor's (we went because my brother gave me pink eye and I had to get some antibiotic ointment). So I'm definitely gaining at least an ounce a day, which is what I should be. By the way, I'm all better now, no more pink eye and I didn't catch Jake's cold. I guess breast milk does help keep babies like me healthy.

Mommy and I went to visit the lactation consultant because Mommy had mastitis, a nasty breast infection. Didn't bother me any, but poor Mommy didn't feel very good. Turns out I'm not latching on very well because I'm "defending" myself against Mommy's floods of milk. I kept trying to tell Mommy that she was drowning me, but when you can't talk, it's a little hard to get your point across. Mommy makes so much milk that I have to pull away. Sometimes she even squirts me in the face! I really hate it when she gets me in my eye. You try latching on when you have one eye squeezed shut and no peripheral vision to speak of anyway...

The consultant weighed me before and after my usual five minute feed. I ate more than three ounces, which is plenty for a tiny tummy like mine. In fact, usually I eat so much my belly is actually bloated and you can hear the milk sloshing around in my tummy. No wonder I'm gaining. Mommy is very proud of me because I am such a good eater and nurser.

I'm also a good sleeper. I'm spending a bit more time awake, but I still go to sleep after most of my feeds. I eat about every three hours now during the day, and I go a bit longer at night, so Mommy only has to get up once (11 pm, 3 am, and 7 am).

I still don't cry very much. My digestion is bothering me a bit and I will fuss when I need to go in my diaper, and I cry when my diaper is actually changed, but otherwise I'm a very mellow baby. Why not? I get everything I need, exactly when I need it. It's all good.

I didn't even cry when I had my first real bath (unlike my big brother). I liked the warm water and getting clean. It was fun to splash in the tub and I felt sooo good afterward! Mommy even gave me a little massage while getting me dressed. That was nice.

It's my first Valentine's Day today. Apparently, this is a holiday where you tell people you love them. I got lots of hugs and kisses this morning. My big brother came in first thing to give me a hug and kiss. Poppy stayed home today so I got lots of hugs and kisses from him, plus my normal cuddles and love from Mommy. What a cool day!

Not cool? The silly bib Mommy made me wear. Not to brag, but I could wear a cardboard diaper and still look handsome but red is really not my color. It takes a confident baby to wear a giant terry cloth heart and still look good, you know.

Love and lots of heart-shaped kisses,

Charlie

I'm Three Weeks Old

Hi, everyone! Can you believe I've been earthside a whole three weeks already?

I got off to a great start, born on a snowy winter day -- the same day as my cousin Amy, so hopefully I'll be as smart and cute as she is. I came out yelling but calmed down and have been taking everything in ever since. I'm really a pretty calm little guy, Mommy says, and Poppy thinks I'm a very good baby (he's right!).

I cried when I was born, but not much since (mostly when Poppy or Mommy changes my diaper; that makes me cold!). I do get gas sometimes now, which makes me fuss, but I still don't scream or cry very often. (Mommy is on antibiotics because she has mastitis, and it upsets my tummy a little.)

I latched on and learned to breastfeed right away. The nurses were very impressed with how strong a suck I have for being such a small baby (I was only 5 pounds, 11 ounces). I fed for the first time about half an hour after I was born and have been going strong ever since. I typically feed every two to three hours, although I've been known to cluster feed for up to two hours (not very often, though, as that is hard on Mommy).

Mommy's milk is helping me grow. At my one week check up, I was back to my birth weight. At my two week check up, I had gained almost a full pound, so I was up to 6 pounds, 8 ounces. The doctor was very impressed. I'm in the third percentile for weight, 25th for height (19 inches), and 10th for head circumference. The doctor says I'm proportional, so he thinks I'm just fine. Mommy is a little worried about my head size, because my brother's head was always so large, but the doctor says that is strongly inherited so I should blame Mommy, as her head is pretty small. I'm not sure what I weigh now, but I've just about outgrown my newborn clothes (up to eight pounds) and moved from newborn to size one diapers. Woo hoo!

I'm still pretty much in the eating, sleeping, pooping phase of life. I have an extended alert period at least once a day, where I like to look around and see what's going on, but mostly I like to eat and then go back to sleep. Mommy thinks that's fine, since I grow when I sleep. I'm learning not to confuse my days and nights, which is a big deal -- Mommy has been pretty zombie-like the last few weeks. I usually sleep at least one four-hour period at night now, which is a big help to Mommy. Personally, I don't care because hey, it's always cold and snowy so we don't go anywhere or see the sun, but it's a big deal to her.

Let's see...I can open my fists now, I can track objects from side-to-side (not up and down yet), I like to look at faces, and I can sleep through anything, including my big brother Jake playing his guitars and drums. He's very noisy! But he loves me, and gives me lots of kisses, hugs, and cuddles. He likes to hold me.

My first visitor was MeMe, who came to spend a week with me after I was born. She was a big help to Mommy and Poppy, doing laundry and cooking and letting Mommy and me rest and sleep. She admired and held me a lot, and played with my big brother. I miss her!

My second visitors were my brother's daddy, stepmom and half-brother. They lent me a swing, which was nice. Kyle, Jake's half brother, is just over a year old. Hard to believe that in a year, I'll be walking and talking like him.

I've gotten so many presents! Lots of cute toys and clothes and things. It's so nice to be loved and feel welcomed. Thanks to everyone for thinking about me.

What's In a Name?

Many people have asked...what's up with the three names?

Charles: It means "Free Man" or "Manly." It was ranked #60 in popular baby boy names in 2006 in the United States. The name has a long, distinguished history, starting with Charlemagne, or "Charles the Great." It's a classic name, not trendy or too common, but mostly we chose it because it has meaning on both sides of our family: Both grandmothers have beloved brothers named Charles; Alex's brother's first name was Charles; my grandfather's brother was named Charles. Charles is a good name for a brother in our family. I think "Charlie" and "Jake" sound cute together, and like brothers. It's a compromise name, but a good one.

Spenser: To get the full effect, think of Avery Brooks booming "Spen-sah!" to Robert Ulrich in the television show of the same name. Yes, we named our child after a famous fictional detective character (literary more than broadcast). The name means "someone who dispenses or gives out goods" and it's an easy name to spell and pronounce, but not too popular or trendy. But more importantly, it's a name of a fictional detective, smart-mouthed but with a heart of gold. He's smart, well-read, fit and strong, and lives by a strong personal code of honor. Those are all things you could wish for a child, and it was important to Alex that the name represent qualities to live up to. I couldn't quite get behind Spenser as a first name because I had always liked it as a name for a girl (Spencer Charlotte) and couldn't shake the association. It seemed less trendy or unweildy than Dashiell (Dash B****** sounds like a b-movie actor name) or Marlowe, which reminds me of That Girl Thomas.

Finnegan: Blame Mom for this one. I love the name Finn, trendy as it probably will be in five to ten years. I fought hard for Finn as a first name. Finn McCool was a mythical leader of the Fiann, hunters and warriors of Celtic legend. There are many stories about Finn's wisdom and leadership. The name itself means "fair" or "bright." Alex couldn't get past the fishy connotations (the reason Gillis, another of my favorite names and a family name, was off limits), but I loved the connection with the mythical character and wanted something Celtic to honor our mutual heritage. We literally decided to include Finn as one of the names on the way to the hospital. When saying the names out loud, Finnegan was the version that flowed the best with all the names and our two-syllable last name.

So, Charles Spenser Finnegan B******. Admittedly, a lot of name for a little boy. But it gives him lots of options and makes for good stories and conversational icebreaker without being a burden in every day life. Having gone my whole life spelling and pronouncing my name, and agreeing that yes, Valette is an unusual name, I can appreciate the benefits of both having a "normal" name and a name people can talk about and remember.

Besides, doesn't he just look like a Charlie? (And remember, people: it could have been "Memphis.")

Welcome to the World, Charlie!

Charles Spenser Finnegan B***** was born at 8:43 am on January 17th, weighing 5 pounds, 11 ounces and 19 inches long.



He was born via scheduled csection -- actually, the csection had been scheduled and rescheduled--we had juggled schedules around quite a bit and my mom even had to change her flight after the 37week amnio came back with immature lungs, so we had to wait another week. I had PIH/PE and the balance was to get as big a baby as possible before my blood pressure got so bad that my head popped or something. At least my kidneys and liver weren't involved this time.




The csection was pretty easy this time around, compared with having an emergency one under general anesthesia. We got to the hospital at 6 am -- and yes, I drove (I'm not sure Alex slept at all the night before). We got settled into our room, although there was a little confusion at first because the wing was so crowded that we had to share our room with another mom getting prepped for a csection. I was pretty upset and probably overreacted -- I had visions of having to share the room the entire time, which would have truly sucked big time.



After getting changed, the IV, and swallowing the nasty anti-heartburn med they give you, we met with the anesthesiologist. Meriter is a teaching hospital, so we met with a resident who was supervised by the actual dr. They were both really nice and spent a lot of time talking about pain management options with me and my weird history and reaction to anesthesia and meds.



I got a spinal, which was probably the most annoying part of it all. It took forever for the dr. to get enough of the medication in, and forever for the the initial shot of lidocaine to work. I had to tell them that when I go to the dentist, it can take three or four shots of novocaine and up to an hour before I'm numb enough for a filling. But they give you the lidocaine so you don't feel the needle with the spinal medicine, or I guess feel the medicine go in, although I sure did -- it felt like being zapped with a cattle prod in your spine!


Meanwhile, you have to hold perfectly still so they don't paralyze you for life or cause a bleed that will give you a nasty four-day headache. I finally said, "Um, I can only stay in my happy place for so long here, guys" which got a big laugh but didn't make the process go any faster. "My" OR nurse (as opposed to the doctor's or Charlie's) held my hand and talked me through it.

It's a weird sensation to feel yourself go numb and to want to move your legs, but not be able to. They kept testing how numb I was by squirting cold water up and down my sides. If I could feel the cold, then I wasn't numb enough (the goal is to have the sensation numbed up to your mid-chest).


This was once we were down in the operating room. Alex had to wait outside the room while they did that part. Then he got to come in, all dressed in his scrub finery. He looked so cute, and was so excited and nervous, it was sweet.

The actual operation didn't take too long; we were scheduled for 8 am, but our doctor was running late because of the snow (it's been a record-breaking winter in WI). They wouldn't take me in the room until she showed up. I'm not sure what time we actually got started, but I think once she started cutting, it only took maybe 10 minutes until baby time.

I couldn't see anything because of the drape, and I wouldn't let Alex peek over either -- no one needs to see my intestines except the doctor. I know Alex was behind me, but I couldn't see him and I don't remember him talking to me, although I'm sure he must have.The feeling of the surgery was odd -- you don't feel pain, but you do feel pressure and tugging. The doctor told us what was going on, although it was kind of a surprise (to me anyway) when we heard the first cry. Charlie was here!

The doctor popped the baby over the drape so I could see. He looked small and slippery. Alex went with the baby to the pediatrician's table, where Charlie was weighed, measured, wiped down, etc. (We opted for the vitamin k shot, but not the Hep B vaccine or the eye ointment.) Alex got to trim Charlie's cord, which we didn't expect. Charlie scored 9 and 9 on his Apgar scores (tough crowd).

Then Alex brought Charlie over for me to see.
 He was completely swaddled so all I could see was a bit of a little face.
 Unfortunately, I really couldn't crane my neck around enough to get a good look and I was kind of distracted by the sensation of things being tugged around and sewn up. I was also feeling a bit weird, like I couldn't breathe well and was very light-headed and dizzy, not to mention nauseous. I was concentrating hard on not coughing (I had been sick with a bad cold) or throwing up. (I was also listening to the anesthesiologists talk about how high my blood pressure was and how they didn't think I would have made it much longer -- it's always nice to have a little valdiation).




Once everything was sewn up, the team moved me to the mobile bed. That was weird; I couldn't feel anything from the chest down and they were leaning me over and moving me around. I felt as if I was going to fall right off the OR table, although of course I wasn't. But I also couldn't move myself to compensate.




We went to the recovery room and the nurses helped get Charlie latched on right away. Charlie did great; he had (and has) a really strong suck and took to breast feeding like a champ. Alex and I really enjoyed looking at our beautiful baby boy and bonding a little with him. 




It was weird trying to move my toe and having my entire leg jump, but eventually the spinal wore off and they moved us up to our recovery room on 6 North (which we had to ourselves). Our adventures as parents to Charlie had begun. We both felt so lucky and blessed to have this healthy little boy to love.